Collaborative Law Group Offers New Approach to the Divorce Process

Is there really such a thing as an amicable and cooperative divorce? For the attorneys – and the clients – of the Two River Chapter of the Jersey Shore Collaborative Law Group, the answer is an emphatic “yes.” 

As too many couples – and their children – are unfortunately aware, divorce can be a painful, complicated, and lengthy process. Litigation, with its customary competitive, adversarial approach, is often expensive and stressful, and takes a long-lasting toll, both financially and emotionally, on all parties involved. 

Recognizing this, some attorneys are hoping to change that reality by offering their professional legal services through what may be considered a kinder, gentler approach. It’s called collaborative divorce practice, and is an alternative from the other two options for divorce, mediation and litigation. The goal of collaborative divorce is to address the unique concerns and situations of each couple and their family in a civil and dignified way, without having to go through the convoluted court system that too often hands down arbitrary and restrictive decisions which hinder rather than help.

Explained Janis Miller, an attorney who belongs to the Two Rivers Chapter of the Jersey Shore Collaborative Law Group, “Collaborative law is a creative process, customized to the needs of the couple involved and working closely with their mutual input. In collaborative law cases, both parties walk away knowing that they created an agreement to fit their circumstances.” The couple makes a list of goals regarding their respective finances, personal plans, child issues, and sometimes even situations such as pet ownership – things that may be very important to the individuals but of less concern to an impersonal court judge – and work with their attorneys to reach amicable agreements on each point. Regular face-to-face meetings are held as often as needed, and scheduling is far more flexible when it doesn’t involve working around limited court dates. Privacy is also protected, since divorce proceedings aren’t subject to discussion in open court.  

Ms. Miller went on to explain that, besides the attorneys who are specially trained in collaborative law, clients are also offered the services of other trained professionals to address their specific needs, such as divorce coaches, mental health professionals, family counselors, realtors, mortgage managers, actuaries, financial coaches or advisors, etc.

“Divorce effects everyone involved, not just the couple who are divorcing, and can have long-range consequences,” she noted. Financial advisors, for example, can offer assistance in prudent planning for the future, not just the short-term settlement. Family counselors can be called in to provide guidance when children are going through emotional issues or problems at school as a result of the domestic situation. And all of the team members are available as needed, whenever a problem or question may arise, to provide personal assistance.

Anna-Maria Pittella, another member of the Two Rivers Chapter of the Jersey Shore Collaborative Law Group, said that the dramatic difference between collaborative law and litigation is apparent immediately, starting with the tone of the correspondence that is exchanged between the parties. “There are ‘softer’ letters sent – as opposed to those making harsh demands – stressing the importance of family and their financial future, etc. The focus is on the need to be aware that there will likely be some level of shared future, particularly if there are children in the family, and to have a respect for the history that has already been shared, even though the marriage may not last,” she stated.

Even with a team of specially trained professionals working together for each party, collaborative law tends to be a lot less expensive than litigation due to the omission of court costs and other fees. And, added Ms. Pittella, “There is full disclosure all around, and every packet of information is provided to everyone. Even though everyone is working together towards mutual agreement, each attorney will be the advocate for the respective spouse whom they represent.”

Collaborative law divorce is really a “philosophical choice,” the attorneys agreed, and to date, none of the partners in the group have had a dissatisfied client using that option. “It’s all about respecting and honoring what was and each other,” explained Ms. Pittella. “We want to help overcome bitterness that may be involved. In litigation cases, the judge does not care about people’s feelings – the decisions are cut and dry and rigid.” 

“This is a family-centered approach,” stressed Ms. Perillo. “Kids don’t get lost in the shuffle. Families and even pets are considered, because those are the things that matter. And couples aren’t draining their life savings. We want to help them protect their future.”

The Jersey Shore Collaborative Law Group (JSCLG), the first of its kind in the state, was established in 2005, and is a business organization that brings together matrimonial attorneys, financial professionals, and mental health professionals to foster the growth of the collaborative divorce process in New Jersey. The JSCLG sponsors lectures, training seminars, articles, and other educational materials to help inform collaborative professionals and the general public about the benefits of the process.

The JSCLG currently boasts approximately 60 practicing members, and, here in this area, six attorneys make up the Two Rivers Chapter. They include Matthew Abatemarco, Janis Miller, Joanne Nadell, Anna Mae Perillo, Anna-Maria Pittella, and Michele Walter, who all have individual practices but work together within the organization and who share a common goal of serving as role models for other attorneys.